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11​:​11

by Dav-P

/
1.
Those tiny moments of my life Pictured on the screen Are nothing more than only dreams The ones I knew along the way Shown on the TV Are nothing close to what they seem Imaginary constantry Fiction family Why do I feel them constantly? I want someone to Take my hand and Say I'm not crazy All my memories are real But no one ever cares Enough to leave some spare Compassion to the world I've built right up out of the ground Why did I have to make my own family? Why did nobody see What was happening to me? Why didn't anyone think enough to care? Why was nobody there? It was far too much to bear Those tiny moments of my life Pictured on the screen Are nothing more than only dreams The ones I knew along the way Shown on the TV Are nothing close to what they seem Imaginary constantry Fiction family Why do I feel them constantly? I'm breathing right now And all despite how I think I'm crazy All my memories are fake But no one ever cares Enough to leave some spare Compassion to the world We've built right up out of the ground La la la la la la la la La la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la La la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la La la la la la la la la
2.
Wake up, get up, something isn't right Something lurking, feeding off my spite Raising voices, arguments I'll never win Why keep fighting, why not just give in? My existence is a deadly sin Time won't pass here, ruled by my fear I don't know that I'm in the right All that I know, in your shadow Lonely in the dead of the night Wake up, fall apart Gentle, screaming, just make up your mind I have nothing I can hide behind I don't think I've ever been allowed a choice My head swims, I only hear your voice Contradictions, dancing on your tongue Carnivore, I think that I should run Tell me plainly, why is it I never win? Am I truly made to just give in? I can't see who I am through you Reaching for a life that's not mine Heavy burden, open curtain I can see a world that's divine, but Though it's so clear, I can't leave here Tethered by the stake in my heart Betray myself, back on your shelf Show me off like I'm modern art, I Don't want to be you Don't want to see who I could have been without you Patch up my frayed seams Lock up all my dreams I'm scared of what it all means Parasitic Flush out the toxin Epidemic Cut out the decay Break out, give in, hazy memory I can't tell if maybe it's a dream Do I hate you? I don't think I'll ever know All this pain the record doesn't show Can you stand me, do you love me still? I can't decide if you ever will Is it love to take away my energy? Do you know what you have done to me? All you've done is feed off of my life Parasitic, feeding off my life
3.
Awaking from a deadly dream My head splitting at the seams I can't breathe, but my heart keeps beating Memories of who I was before My blood strewn across the floor I'm alive, but that can't be right A foreign maze of city streets My reflection isn't me I'm afraid that I might be no one A life in pixels on a screen Was I nothing but a dream? If you're me, who am I? It's not fair, my life slipping through my fingers I don't know who I am anymore I want to be Myself, your clone In this body I'm not me You're not me I'm not me You're not me What are we? My waking hours haunted by ghosts Parasites to which I'm host They're afraid that I might be someone Shattering mirrors on the floor I'm looking for something more Let me in, get me out A stranger with a friendly face Why do I feel out of place? I'm afraid that they'll see you They're longing for my company For our shared and aching dream "Can't you see, don't you love me?" It's not fair, I can't be what they want of me I don't know who they are anymore I want to be Yourself, alone Where nobody Will know me You're not me Can't they see? You're not me I hate me I can't breathe This body It weighs on Me I want to be Myself, unique I want to see How to Be
4.
Every day it walks along and it's not slow But still it goes I can't take away the pain But I can minimize the show Move along with me We can change this flawed society Predatory sea Fuck your comfort, give us what we need I don't care what you say Take take take all your reign, your reign And throw throw throw it away away You fuck fuck fuck our pay, our pay And bank bank bank our pain, our pain I'm done done done losing days And I'm bringing back our brain Pointless rules, we're not just tools We're taking back what you had stole Run away Take the status, burn it all away Run away Burn the dollar bills to change No, we can't stop moving Your past mistakes can't stop us Burn them Every day you walk along and tread on heels Like we're not real We can't minimize the pain If you maximize your gain Can you drop the act Cuz I know that you can't stand the fact Life is not a tax That's a hoax, go shove it up your ass Take your holy book and bring it to the grave Because today I am done with picking sides This is nothing but charades Why does existence Have to be so goddamn expensive Please don't say you care You'd throw me to the streets without my fare Take take take all your reign, your reign And throw throw throw it away away You fuck fuck fuck our pay, our pay And bank bank bank our pain, our pain I'm done done done losing days And I'm bringing back our brain Pointless rules, we're not just tools We're taking back what you had stole Your comfort's not worth the effort Your comfort's not worth the time Run away Take the status, burn it all away Run away Burn the dollar bills to change No, we can't stop moving Your past mistakes can't stop us Burn them Burn them
5.
Never share what I truly want The consequences aren't worth the risk I never once ask for much at all The consequences aren't worth the risk Egotism sure complicates When other people have wishes too Your egocentric views of us all Have detrimental ending results You don't care what I say Misunderstood by the way Let my opinions shape your perceptions But never get too close Then it won't be a joke Climbing inside your mind Learning to know what's inside Never listening, always pretending You'd rather hear yourself You'd rather stay in hell Demonizing all of my moves And villainizing all of my thoughts You patronize me for my mistakes And hold them over my head Accusatory isn't the word When you're not listening You don't know what I mean Even so, you have seen All my perceptions, change your opinions If you wanna keep me Sit down and shut up, please Climbing inside your mind Learning to know what's inside Yet you don't listen, you're just pretending You'd rather hear yourself You'd rather stay in hell Tired, famished, starving, vanquished Worn out, done, fatigued, exhausted Burnt out, spent, and drained and jaded I'm so fucking exhausted No matter what I say or do It's always getting misconstrued I want someone to crawl inside My weary mind to see what hides You don't care what I say Misunderstood by the way Let my opinions shape your perceptions But never get too close Then it won't be a joke Climbing inside your mind Learning to know what's inside Never listening, always pretending You'd rather hear yourself You'd rather stay in hell You don't know what I mean Even so, you have seen All my perceptions, all my opinions You never get too close You never get too close I climbed inside your mind I learned to know what's inside Yet you don't listen, never reciprocate You solely hear yourself You solely hear yourself
6.
Take my lungs and tear them apart All while I'm water-breathing I don't think that I'll need them You control reality Give the puzzle pieces Of our dichotomy To a better liar Cuz I do not need your pity I can't tell you what to say Yet you tell me every day Of your selfless righteousness Tell the sky you made a mess Blame me as you take your bets Like you're talking to yourself I'm the only one I've met The feeling dominates I let it conquer me Allow the things I say To paint the imagery The thought of modal days Getting in the way Completely dominates my brain Swapping the blows in futile pain I let it dominate I let it dominate I let it dominate I let it dominate I don't remember who I am Please tell me how you think you can I'm dissonant of who to be And I can't emphasize it I'm scared of what I used to be And all the things inside of me My diction's cracked under the will Of all that's terrifying Oh, and I want to be my own I want the fruits of what I know Instead I'm bowing to the heel Of your mirror image Come inside, get into my mind This rage I can't quite rid of The cells within my body Stirring in and out of me Take it in the palm of your hand And challenge it with valor It can not be distinguished No matter how minute it seems I can't tell it what to say Yet it tells me every day Telling me I made a mess and Treats me like it's taking bets I know I'm talking to myself But if I'm not to blame Then where's the choice? I don't know how much more I can handle And I don't know how much more I can take Picking sides like this is but a battle So where's my side? Say your lines like you know what I rival And I'll say mine Act distateful out of pure unravel And roll the dice The feeling dominates I let it conquer me Allow the things I say To paint the imagery The thought of modal days Getting in the way Completely dominates my brain Swapping the blows in futile pain I let it dominate I let it dominate I let it dominate I let it dominate I don't remember who I am Please tell me how you think you can I'm dissonant of who to be And I can't emphasize it I'm scared of what I used to be And all the things inside of me My diction's cracked under the will Of all that's terrifying Oh, and I want to be my own I want the fruits of what I know Instead I'm bowing to the heel Of your mirror image
7.
Driving outta town, thinkin' I can't stay here by sundown Aphrodisiacs and cul de sacs She thinks that I won't ever get you back How typical Take your time with me I swear, just give it time, and you will see Wonderin' how'd I get here Don't take long, keep clear After all this time, perfecting the crime I remember you'll be mine I-I-I-I I can't take it when you Lie-ie-ie-ie ๅ›ใ‚’้ ‚ใใŸใ„ I'll shatter her windows in the dawn I'll make sure everything goes wrong ๅฝผๅฅณใฏๅ›ๆ„›ใงใฏใช You are my paraphilia Standin' at the wake No one here knows what actions I made Watchin' as her mother cries, father cries Hearin' all her loved ones say "goodbye" Can't help but laugh Wonderin' how'd I get here Don't take long, keep clear After all this time, perfecting the crime I remember you'll be mine ๆ„›-ๆ„›-ๆ„›-ๆ„› It infiltrates my sorry Mi-i-i-ind ๅ›ใฏๅƒ•ใฎใ‚‚ใฎใ  Don't hide away from me, my friend Cuz the party never ends ๆญปใซใŸใใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐ You'll be my paraphilia Become my paraphilia ่ชฐใ‚‚ๅƒ•ใฎ้‚ช้ญ”ใ‚’ใ—ใชใ„ I wiped away her life So now you'll be mine I'll wipe away your thoughts And then you'll be mine ใ€Œๅฅฝใใ€ใŒใ€Œๆ„›ใ€ใซๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚‹ๆ™‚ ็ตๆžœใ‚ชใƒผใƒฉใ‚ค ๆ„›-ๆ„›-ๆ„›-ๆ„› It infiltrated all my Mi-i-i-ind That not a soul could ever buy ็งใฏๆฐ—ใซใ—ใชใ„ If not with you, I'd rather die ่จ€ใฃใฆใ€ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใช๏ผŸ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใƒ‘ใƒฉใƒ•ใ‚ฃใƒชใ‚ข
8.
Please just shut me out I can't stand being so loud I'm just selfish for forcing you to let me in You won't shut me out When I'm the one in the crowd Who keeps on hurting you when things don't work We love to just love Trust with our trust Thrive to feel unincomplete But I took that away And now there's just no way To make you feel that way And now it's way too late I wish I'd turn back time So I'd ask myself, "why?" "Why must you alibi?" "To go and leave his side?" How was there something wrong? When there was nothing wrong? My forgetful regrets They burn me out For me, for you, what I put you through... Forgive me... Forget me... Why won't you forget me? Unworthy... I'm unworthy of your support We love to just love Trust with our trust Thrive to feel unincomplete But I took that away And now there's just no way To make you feel that way And now it's way too late I wish I'd turn back time So I'd ask myself, "why?" "Why must you alibi?" "To go and leave his side?" How was there something wrong? When there was nothing wrong? My forgetful regrets They burn me out For me, for you, what I put you through... I can't forgive myself. I won't forgive myself I always wanted you How could I forget how you felt? I wish I could take back the time I took letting the distance affect how we loved and how I felt. I hope that you will please forgive me It may seem that I've not changed But I swear that I've changed I've made too much a stain How was there something wrong? When there was nothing wrong? My forgetful regrets They burn me out I couldn't see through you When you needed me to My regretted mistakes They burn me out For me, for you, what I put you through... For me, for you, what I put you through...
9.
Oh, so here we go again. No, I'm begging, make this end Oh, please get out of your head No, don't try and try again I'm running in circles over and over again Contemplating if you are honestly my friend And no, I know that I am upset constantly I'm afraid to admit it 'cuz that ego's in your head Don't scare me into submission, you know that never works on me You are toxic to me and all of the people that you meet I'm finished with your nonsense, I'm removing your shit from me, Don't force me into being your friend, I know that you won't reach your end Don't scare me into submission, you know that never works on me You are toxic to me and all of the people that you meet I'm finished with your nonsense, I'm removing your shit from me, Don't force me into being your friend, I know that you won't reach your end Don't scare me into submission, you know that never works on me You are toxic to me and all of the people that you meet I'm finished with your nonsense, I'm removing your shit from me, Don't force me into being your friend, I know that you won't reach your end
10.
I can't control who's liable, it's concrete in the past How can I change the lives we can't undo? Oh god, I wish I knew My energy is fading and I can't shut off my brain I'm a witness of catastrophe that hopes to see the day I'll fade away into my own delusion 'til my hair hurts grey I'll wait away I'm waiting for the aftertaste of iron to decay I'll fade away into that long forgotten part of me While crowds of liars circle 'round as they just watch me bleed When time is failing, locks are breaking, throw away the keys The clouds darkening, life is fading I wanna say goodbye to that broken part of me I won't let you tear me down And your god left me to drown And he'll never leave me be As my blood's on the ground We wanna say goodbye to the branded part of us And we're never coming down We're gonna say goodbye to that branded part of us You'll never tear us down again I can't control who's liable, it's concrete in the past How can I change the lives we can't undo? Oh god, I wish I knew My energy is fading and I can't shut off my brain I'm a witness of catastrophe that hopes to see the day The stars have started circling like a thousand plastic beads The countless flashing lights illuminated on the sea Red fireworks exploding, changing centered gravity The clouds darkening, life is fading We've ran and ran for so damn long like fruit bats in the night What's the point of running, what's the point of being right? Terrorize your land's insides, attempt it on my life The clouds darkened, we're vantablack inside I've lost control, who's liable? It's deadlocked in the past How can I change the life I can't undo? Oh god, I wish I knew Upon the blast, we left the past We're closing on the sun We're witnesses of catastrophe We're not scared of your guns I can't control your lie's infection, it's concrete in the past How can I change the lives we can't undo? Oh god, I wish I knew My energy is fading and I can't shut off my mind We're the products of catastrophe and we refuse to die The days will fade, and come and go Like leaves, our families change You're gone and I have nothing else to lose I want to see you soon Our world combusts, leave it behind us Reopen the sun We're the witnesses of chaos living on through clouds of death
11.
You may think I'm an idiot You may think I'm a fool You used me for leverage You used me as your tool I tried blocking your words out Put up with all your mess You may think that I'm hostile I'm just trying to do what's best Exaggerating Imitating Who are you blaming? What are you claiming? Your confidence God forbid I make sense Vertigo's in your head Like a needle to a thread I screamed it out But you just won't get out I can't get away now 'Cuz of you, I don't know how I'm stuck with your toxins You left me with your poison I tried all the antidotes It's never gonna be enough I can't just block your words out I'm putting up with this Despite all my best efforts It won't go, it's parasitic Exaggerating Imitating Who are you blaming? What are you claiming? Your confidence God forbid I make sense Vertigo's in your head Like a needle to a thread I screamed it out But you just won't get out I can't get away now 'Cuz of you, I don't know how I wanted to To not be so blind I trusted you You're a parasite I'm sick of this, leave me alone I do not need to atone I don't care If you're getting hurt I don't care 'Cuz you left me burned I'm sick of this, leave me alone I do not need to atone Parasite Parasite Exaggerating Imitating Who are you blaming? What are you claiming? Your confidence God forbid I make sense Vertigo's in your head Like a needle to a thread I screamed it out But you just won't get out I can't get away now 'Cuz of you, I don't know how
12.
Speak loud and clear, you heard me I spoke my mind, you happy? Used whatever tactics, stayed discreet Yet I'm the hypocrite in what you see I begged and plead for you to talk to me I'm sick of the stress, I'm so done with thee Said I run away, but in reality I'm just sick of being your ecstasy I'm hid away Yet you force me to stay Inside your trap Run away is what I say But we know I'm a liar to myself Don't believe I don't believe I cannot see I will not see Don't wanna know Put on a show Put up with you I'm done with you You are an... Beyond your walls I see a fall Beyond your walls I see a fall High off the ground Yet I'm falling down Down I'm hid away Yet you force me to stay Inside your trap Run away is what I say But we know I'm a liar to myself Don't believe I don't believe I cannot see I will not see Don't wanna know Put on a show Put up with you I'm done with you You are an... Don't believe I don't believe I cannot see I will not see Don't wanna know Put on a show Put up with you I'm done with... I refused to see the truth There's no amends We were never friends I'm scared of you I'm done with you Scream, scream aloud You are an Abuser Manipulator
13.
My shadow lurks behind me It lingers in the city streets My curtains shut and with no seams My ears allowed into the sound Of things not spacial with them now They hear things that I do without Only wish I could know How do I let it go? In the night, I'm awake Viewing all of a show It won't go, though it's gone Things my head puts me on Am I out of my mind? All these sights, which are mine? Which are mine? Am I out of my mind? They're not real They're all mind Don't care if I have no rhythm In my vision, it's algorithm Has me stuck, frozen to the spot Frozen to the spot I know it won't stop Fears of what I don't see Right in front of me How can I get to sleep? If nothing came to be? I'm not ready to do What you tell me to do I will love them, love them Cherish them instead of you Only wish I could know How do I let it go? In the night, I'm awake Viewing all of a show It won't go, though it's gone Things my head puts me on Am I out of my mind? All these sights, which are mine? Which are mine? Am I out of my mind? They're not real They're all mind They're not real, just a ruse Just a show Just a play Every waking day
14.
Open books Give them a look And see what's inside A stranger's voice Lost in the noise Is telling me to hide But I've been hiding way too long With details in mind I'm more than aware of the stares And every single lie Throw that selfishness aside I'm done with playing games Fuck you and the things you do You only care for your gain, oh You only care for your gain So I cleanse myself of your stain I'll never be as free As when the day comes that I leave you Watch the fire fade away Lose the cares I held onto Watch the fire wash away I have nothing else to lose Heal my blisters Heal my heart Heal what has torn me apart Bring the water Bring my start Bring the rain, bring the rain Bring the rain Bring the rain
15.
I'm supposed to be happy But the artwork painted On the skin of my hands Has faded in a way You would never understand Stare me down like I deserve it Looking down like I can't earn it Everybody's looking down on me I can feel it A thousand eyes don't matter When there aren't approving smiles And even if there are I still feel I haven't proven far enough But I guess that's how it goes When the voices on the radio don't stop But I wanna try to do a little bit better Do a little bit better But I couldn't prove it then And I couldn't prove it now And it's eating me alive I'm so done Frustrated Why do you put everything into a zero-sum? You wanna fight but I wanna fly Wanna die before I even try I fucking know I've gotten far Took my time to do it right Perfected my craft And you know what makes me laugh? Those countless smiles don't matter When there's flaws I can't control But even though there are How the fuck does that prove I can't be able? Keep on pushing Keep on fighting When my hatred never stops Keep on making Keep creating When this feeling never stops Why can't they see The paint before it's washed away? But I guess that's how it goes When the voices on the radio don't stop But I wanna try to do a little bit better Do a little bit better But I couldn't prove it then And I couldn't prove it now And it's eating me alive I'm so done Frustrated Oh, oh
16.
I want to bathe in a pool, truly free I want to lay in a pool, truly free from this No point of sleep anymore I wish I could live in peace But that's not for me Opinions that aren't for me I'm living on the dream Of what I should be Everything that I've done I'm seen by no one Still, I will live on I know I'll get through this I will be okay I want to tame my intrusive head Whatever that happens will be fine My thoughts are lying to me I know objectively I'll come out fine Nonetheless I am going crazy 'Cuz they won't shut up Thank god I know that I can Separate them from truth instead I'm fixing the problem I want to be okay My memory lied to me But I'm healing every day Affirming what I know Will override the lie That I'm not going to Come out of this alive I will live through all this I will get to know peace I will live through this I will get to know peace I demand that these thoughts Of peril leave my head I know I'll be okay Bathe me with positivity I'm truly free Reality will be what I need Oh oh oh oh oh I'll be alive Alive
17.
Walk away I'll walk away Prepared for nothing Walking away Reliving the days I'm counting away I'm counting away The scales on my feet Leave me scarred to my knees I can't breathe long to see What you've done is hurting me I live scared of the sun Anxiety I breathe with a gun I walk with glass in my heels And honestly I just want you to leave Get me out of here Your actions are crystal clear Now it's okay? So now it's okay? Now with the damages done You pretend and look the other way? Take and take my innocence And take away my pride Keep taking 'til I'm all grown up Then act like you're surprised When I walk away Reliving the days Rebounding the pain The times I would pray The gas from your mouth Lit me up with my doubts I can't breathe long to see What you did was harming me I lived scared of the sun Anxiety I breathed with a gun Spoke with my throat caught in knots Intrusive thoughts I just wanted you to stop I lived scared of the sun Until today I'm finally done I walk the road that was once And always mine As I leave Get me out of here Your actions are crystal clear Get me out of here Your actions are crystal clear Get me out of here Your actions are crystal clear
18.
You took my hand, and you would say That you would never go away I am your puppet on our stage And you are mine You wanted to just make it work I want it working with no hurt And we both still got lots to learn So no one's lying And you know it's not hard It's not hard, on your heart Artwork is who you are I'nt trying to speak metaphors They shot me, shot bullets I am not their puppet You took all their bullets I'm your living puppet "I'd spend hours looking for you Through seas of puppets just like you." That's what I said, you said "me too" So you were mine You said I'm your marionette And that you are my own puppet Single-control's what we won't let It's wrote in lines And you know it's not hard It's not hard, on your heart Artwork is who you are I'nt trying speak metaphors They shot me, shot bullets I am not their puppet You took all their bullets I'm your living puppet I let you battle all my fights Relied on you to make it right I let you make me helpless You made me your whole fortress You're toxic, that is what I know So sorry, I just gotta go I love you, you love me, too But my mind fully hates you I tread your ground And my heart pounded My mind's so loud Conflicts astounded I'm sorry, sorry This stage is yours I'm leaving but don't wanna go What happens to you I will never know And you know it's not hard It's not hard, on your heart Artwork is who you are I'nt trying speak metaphors They shot me, shot bullets I am not their puppet You took all their bullets But I'm not your puppet I'm sorry Puppet Puppet I'm no puppet anymore I'm no puppet anymore

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๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ (๐˜ฏ.) - ๐€ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ ๐ง ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐”๐ง๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ข๐ ๐ง๐ข๐Ÿ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ง๐ž๐ฐ ๐›๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ; ๐€ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฉ๐š๐ญ๐ก.

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released April 11, 2023

Created by Dav-P

Cover Illustration by S.A.M. Intel

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Dav-P

i convert my problems into audio files

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